Illogical logic!

I cant believe how selfish I am. I only use my blog when I need it the most. When I have thoughts that fail to understand me and I fail to understand them; I come here.

But, this place has always been there for me.

So what I am writing about is complicated. And its a realisation which apparently should have come long ago and its not a big deal but I write it to make it sink in to me and make me believe in it more.

"Nothing is forever"

And yet we expect them to be. [error: we want them to be]

The question, however, is: what do I want?

“My life is, has been and always will be an adventure.”

The above said seems like a piece of wisdom spoken out of someone’s mouth to appreciate life and live it in full admiration. But there is a whole lot into it and to tell this I feel disgusted.

The person who said that also said, “… Technology is not that important (in India) considering in the UK we ride on the inside of trains, not on top of them. … Indians have no access to electricity to even enjoy superior technology.”

This guy used to study in my University in Stirling and belongs to UK.

Yesterday, I wrote a status on my Facebook that said, “Indian govt should exempt foreign nationals to work in India too- jobs should go to Indians first, treat them just like they treat us!! *No Firangi Policy*!!”

The story behind the status: I am aware of the situation abroad these days considering the treatment towards Indians with respect to jobs and employment. Me and many of my friends staying outside of India have faced the hardships of recession by either being kicked out or being rejected or simply not being considered for a very well suited job position. I do not blame them; each country is worried about their own well being and their own citizens first. But a few days ago, my sister staying in New Delhi having ample experience in the Indian Media and having been almost accepted by the CEO of the company got to being disliked by the PR head of the company who was a ‘Firangi’ BECAUSE she thought my sister did not know much of the Indian journalists. I say, who the hell is she?

Hence my status: Indian govt should exempt foreign nationals to work in India too- jobs should go to Indians first, treat them just like they treat us!! *No Firangi Policy*!!

I think I justify it too. Firstly, some firangi has to be a total reject from every other corner of the world to be working in India. Secondly, why should we not use some kicking out? And Thirdly, there are too many unemployed talented people in India. Why hire an angrez!!!!!??

Indians have to stop bending over for Firangi’s. Skin colour is not everything.

Anyway, the person in question in the initial paragraph of this blog arrives yet again, he commented on the status. I will copy paste the rest.

Martin Jack

That is a pretty disgusting thing to say. My colleagues include 5 indians in a group of 50. Thousands of indians live and work and have a good and free life in the uk.

Yesterday at 16:30 ·

Treat them like they treat us...that's what you say. An eye for an eye and the whole world goes blind - which remarkable indian said that?

Priyanka Tandon

well don't read too much into it! I'm not targeting any particular group of people in any particular country....n trust me I know how nationals are treated in UK (its a privilege), it doesn't work too much like that in my country. About UK... too bad we are too many and we are intelligent too, so everyone has to deal with it !!! It's pretty evident that in this recession, jobs are being given to nationals... all I am saying is that there are loads of unemployed people to be used in India, and it is time our govt. starts doing the same thing! We know how it feels, I am sure people might know what I am talking about....

P.S.- Instead of being 'anti' about another country, I'm more or less talking about mine here!

Which, I think he either did not understand or he was astounded by the fact that I made much more sense than him. So, he sent me a private message:

Martin Jack 20 March at 08:56 Report

No, you trust me, you don't know shit. Just because you did your postgrad here doesn't mean Britain owes you a job. London is the most culturally diverse city in the world. There is no big government conspiracy to avoid hiring you, you're just getting upset because your efforts haven't paid off so far. Do you think I was handed a job because I was native? No, I struggled for it for many years and in many ways. Everyone struggles. Some chose to complain, others are mature enough to keep up the fight. I wish you luck getting a job, but why don't you show a little perseverance? P.S. I don't think a no foreigner policy in india would do much good - I really don't see brits falling over themselves to work in india.

Sent via Facebook Mobile

Priyanka Tandon 20 March at 15:34

LOL

See, I told you do not read too much into it, but if that’s not too simple to understand then I can’t help you. I don't need sermons over this city, I have made my own choices and oh I know shit!

Yes I have tried hard enough and yes I am not employed yet and YES I am upset. But I am the last one to expect something out here. I am not keeping grudges against anyone. This status was far too simple. Everyone struggles. DUH. And if you've already spent too much time staring on my status then I guess you should know I never mentioned a country there...

I am not begging for a job first of all, neither is this about me getting a job in the first place. FB gives me a way to say things and I say them. Some choose to complain, some manage to keep a fight but Some should be, well 'mature' enough to respect someone’s opinion. And, well it wasn't even about British till you made it.
And falling over?? Well I think some people only love to live in developed countries and still have minds as backward as early men. You should really use some knowledge or umm maturity here. There are far too many foreigners working in India and I know far too many who want to. And FYI- Brits literally fell over some 100's of years back to come and rob our country.

So I guess at one point, no one really knows shit!

And please, I do not choose to do this. You asked for it. I am staying here in London because I like it; I came to UK because I liked it. Instead of this country owing me something, I owe Scotland far too much. The status was a mock at someone who I know back in India. So suit yourself.

God bless!

I think when people travel abroad and go to then western parts of the globe they also take themselves back in time and arrive at a place where some people are too proud of themselves without even knowing what they did to deserve it. God help them.

And I pity those who are ashamed of India and keep complaining unaware that it’s only them who make it the way it is and yet do not even make an effort. How can one not get moved by all this? I do and I am proud I can do even a little something for my country!

Be Positive!!! ya right!

I remember that day clearly when my 3rd year at Delhi University was about to end. My final term was almost there, I was totally hysterical because I needed to score a good percentage and I needed a plan! Unlike most people, or maybe LIKE most people I had never known what I am going to be when I grow up. I used to say I'll be Steffi Graph at one point of time. LOL. I also remember saying I want to be a Receptionist. God I was so ambitious.

So me and dad sat down thinking and he told me to go ahead with the course at this Scottish University which seemed amazingly apt to what I wanted to do in life. Now all I needed was a good percentage!

I had got my result and the ecstasy I had in my mind was limitless because I was going to UK !!! Uni was cool in Scotland but after that 1 and a half years of staying here, the same ecstasy has died! I don't get it-- what is so good about UK? especially for an Indian? you go out, you find the same people but just behaving retarded (In my dictionary: Indians who behave British are retarded) and if you're lucky you'll see a couple of Gora people somewhere in the crowd who look as if they are tourists in their own country. So, I get back to my question: what is so great about UK?

So what am I doing here, If these are my thoughts!??! To be honest, there are some things you get used to here and you like it, but that's not my point. I love some certain specific things about this place, but details later.

I am here because I paid this country loads of money on my overpriced study and then my overly-overpriced Visa. So I am not going back until they return my money. I am an Indian for God sake!

Random Fact: Do you know if Indian students don't come here, half of these Gora's wont even get their salaries...poor people.

I think this is what unemployment does to me....

Assumption approved.

Well, what do you know, moments later as I press "Publish Post" my computer crashed! And believe me when my computer crashes, life is a fullstop. I'm like what do I do? So I have done something now to get it to work atleast and I am trying my best to keep it alive and going.

Social life = facebook and my laptop

thats about it.

Anyway, Just want to thank Upasana! (she knows why) You're a sweetheart. I know life is just showing its true colours to me but sometimes people assume we are doing just great when they see our smiles on Facebook. But I'm a warrior!

You should come to London, fuck US.

hehe!

well, I hope its easy to reboot your computer. I haven't done it before.

What happens next...

And so I am back to my blog when everything seems to have turned away from me and I have nothing to do. I love updating statuses on Facebook, but I hate admitting to the somewhat 200 friends I have on FB that I am having a bad time. I somehow like to project only cooler things on facebook- I admit, I'm a big flaunter.

Well, I'm not typically in a worst case scenario right now but I'm also not exactly happy.

1. Away from family
2. Missing the festivals (this is not a worthy point to be in this list though, n yet its no. #2)
3. Unemployed and Cashless
4. Stuck in London (which still means that I hate this city)
5. The most expensive city
6. Wanting to go back but have no effin clue why I am still here.
7. Staying in a crappppppppppy house, with the crappiest of people
8. Well, this could be an infinite list.

Facebook has become my only sense of social interaction these days with Farmville and Cafe World doing up a bit to keep me "involved". I sit in my box room the rest of the time and watch random shit on my laptop, which I am assuming would crash any day (touchwood!).

I sometimes wonder, Am I a bad person? I talk to myself some days and figure out things I have done in the past, do they really make a difference for your future? Does Karma really work? There are so many people I know who are successful and HAPPY in their life, and get everything they want, just like that! why??? HOW??? WHY?? I know cursing them won't help really but I need clarification.

I called up Sahil a few hours ago and told him about my stupid interview in London and he was like Awww don't cry don't be sad. I wasn't crying and neither was I sad. For the first time in my life I think I might've showed him that "I CAN take shit!" attitude of mine. I told him what'll happen if I cry, no ones going to come running up with a job for me. The whole world is trying so I'll join em and TRY.

I am tired of trying. And I am not even anticipating on what happens next!

bleeaurghhh!!!!

He's an 'it'!!!!

A lot has happened between this post and the previous one, which I really can not open up here, I will need a private post for that. But anyway, about the title. It came up when me and my housemates were having lunch a couple of days back in the hall, taking out free time out of our exams, and we were looking at Mark's (the Chinese guy) class picture. He was so upset with exams and his professor that when I asked who's he, he said, Noo he's not a he, he's an 'it'. I wondered for two minutes but then I laughed out loud with the immense sense that he had just made., somehow. At times he is just too funny and the way he speaks is just too typical of Chinese people speaking English. But he's a sweet guy.

The other day he was teaching me all the bad words in Chinese, hehe. So he goes what do you call a 'hybrid human' in Hindi??? And I am like what the hells a hybrid human, haha. But aah it was a scientific term for a 'छक्का' hahahah!!!

I am still working on my new blog, which will come up in a few days, it is also going to be a little related to my course so if u get bored, don't blame me. I have indeed become a little lame in writing ever since I have come here. Also, my term is going to end in another 3 and a half months from now, then I am going back home....yay!!!!!!!!! but also I will miss this place, sob sob. i just have tooooo many memories here. It has been the best year of my life i guess.

I'll save some stuff for later.
adios

And So it was....

After much contemplation and some weird face making, I realised that my blog has gone for a toss. It has lost its charm (well, I am self-supposing that it had some before!!), it has become too random, it has become too summarized and I have become lazy! Each time I come up with an excuse and say I'll write often and soon, blah-la-blah, I just can't!!

ugh!

Sooo I sat thinking and came up with a first fused, then blinking and then a shattering bulb idea. Why not start afresh and make a new blog!! I won't delete this one and neither will stop writing in it. Umm lets just keep this one for nonsense!! But now I have lost track of all my comment-people. So I don't know if thats a bright idea!!!

Sigh

So life seems to be running now, 8 months have gone, lots changed, I changed, people changed!!! I took some decisions I should have taken ages ago, but sometimes it feels blank!!!

I have also changed my Dissertation topic, its more 'political'....

and lets say i'll say all about it on my blog, err new blog!!! I hope some people reply there, otherwise my dissertation will never work!!!!! puhleeezzzz-with cherry on top...ok and a chocolate nut too!!

YAwwwwwwwwwwn...m lazy again!! I'm sure its all pumping up eh?!!

Roobaru Roshni!!!!!!!!!! ( I don't know why I wrote this title)

Ha, another post, late late late....crap!!

Anywayy, well the weather is getting so awesome here, touch wood!! love the sun....Ive been shopping as is if the world is in recession because I have stolen their money....bad liner but thats what i am doing..ugh!!

The other day I was in M&S, checking out some shoes (awesome by the way, just a lil ahead of budget) so I was wearing em and loving myself in the mirror, so this old lady (very cute) walked up and said, they look fabulous!!!! I smiled and said thank you, she said, well...some years ago I used to run around in them when I was young, enjoy them all you can!!!! I smiled and sat thinking (No I still did not buy them) and wondered how life is running. We are all indeed waiting for Godot!!!!!! Why is life so short???

Otherwise, Life is the same, I am dying to get back home, just wanna chill and enjoy the free 2 months I am ever going to get now, coz then begins the tough hard life with hours and hours of slogging and getting paid for it (well thats one consolation) and then the whole life will be spent doing that! Why IS life so short????

We have had some awesome partying in the last 2-3 weeks and I am sure next week is on since its Gautams birthday. I so wanna chill here and enjoy my time to the most before I start into the slogging mode. I wanna freak out!!!! but I also desperately need a job....!!! phew

But most importantly, people who are reading this I seriously need your help. if anyone is interested in being interviewed by me for my dissertation for a short time please leave a comment and your details where I can contact you, email or telephone. Pretty please!!!!!

Anyway, short blog, useless in a way also nonsense but what a relief....I'll write another one soon....its about some shhhhh people here.....they get on my nerves...JLT...nuthin much though...

chao!!!