A pretentious act!

First of all Thanks to Fattebaaz.com.

I have won an award, for the first time, for my blog dated 10th December. the badge is on the right side.

A few acknowledgements (the only non-pretentious part in here)

Prtaik Sir- for pushing us/me to not only think outta the box but outta the world, for inculcating a bona fide way of looking at things, and the most of all respecting literature.

Prof. Subhash Chandra- whose story turned lecture interested me that day.

John Milton's Paradise Lost- in a tiny way

My Phone dictionary which helps me when I'm almost on the verge of drowning myself when I don't even know the basics in Literature during my lectures by professors who at one point of time were expecting 'something' outta us.

Neha- who is highly annoyed by her office environment so I thought she could try it out on her boss.

And those who have tagged me.

Felix Culpa

Sometimes theres something in your head that keeps moving and never stops and then you know that you are confused- highly confused.

We learn from our wrong doings and that is why life is nice. Its worth it.
We all commit sins, mistakes, blunders etcetra but it gets redeemed. The circle of life gets complete then. We all should do things that makes ourselves feel good about it without regrets, without caring even a bit what the 'world' says. We'll fall but we'll know the fall was meant to be. We'll stand back again and one day we won't regret looking back.

I wish Life was a Movie.
As in....you know sumthin like...
Take just one day outta your daily routines and decide that today you'll be yourself. Don't care what your boss says, what your colleagues say, what your friends say and who so ever it may be. Live that day for yourself.

Don't like what your boss is wearing- say it on his/her face.
A showroom? say some designer dude, look at his clothes and say "what the fuck is this so heavily priced for, i can probably get sumthin done in 1/4th of the price and it'll look better".
Walked into your ex? Abuse (hindi gaali plzz strictly) or maybe spill coffee even better!!
Saw your worst enemy?? ask him watsup??? (this'll kill him)

This sounds so easy huh? Well play at your own risk...hehe
I wished its as easy to do as it sounds?
My point is just live one day according to yourself, nobody else's bloody business!!

Well, Anyways...filmi stuff over.
My professor had a different mood today, he talked of his love, his marriage, his son and his daughter-in-law (who he specifically called his daughter). He seemed to be so much satisfied with his life. He told us how he proposed his wife. How he asked her out for his very first date.

This man is now on a verge of retirement by early next year. And how he still blushed when he talked, taking his glasses off and cleaning them with his handkerchief after every minute- it was spotless clean but still.
He told us to do something nice, sweet just outta the blue for once.

I'm sure he is a very nice human being.

We all are getting Bhagat singh, DU sweatshirts soon, after all these years of cribbing and mourning over college life we finally became a lil connected to our dear college. its costing us but we decided to buy it. And we are gonna have a 'Jersey day' in college!

I think third year has finally come out with creativity.

later.

I have no words for a title right now...

I have a rush inside me, the same that was there an year and months ago, but this time it means something too big to let it go away...


Aaoge jab tum o saajana
angana phool khilenge
Barsega saawan, barsega saawan
Jhoom jhoomke

do dil aise milenge

chanda ko taaku raaton mein
hai zindagi tere haathon mein
palkon pe jhilmil taarein hain
aana bhari barsaaton mein
sapnon ka jahaan, hoga khila khila
barasega saawan, barsega saawan
jhoom jhoomke

do dil aise milenge

Lots has to be done, lots has to line up, lots has to be thought but before all that I just wanna say one thing to myself- theres no point in tormenting myself, I'm not a kid anymore that some thing will ruin me and my career and studies (it's not something though).


A voice inside me wants to shout on top of its voice


"DON'T GO"!!!!


This time I think its my conscience...
But that'll be selfish of me so I should be happy....


There has been so much I have wanted to write in here, but let that just be...for now this is all I have to say, let it all remain trapped inside me..


For Me and that part of me!!

Ugh!

Computer went bonkers, examz overhead, no-mood-for-internet, blah blah blah....

Y'know whats the height of frustration- now, when you realise that exams are just 5-6 days away and you FINALLY start preparing only to find out they are postponed- shitheads!!!

Its not confirmed but 99% they'll be in Jan...just great!!! ruin your new year and your holidays and your mind!!!!

English lectures have got interesting these days- there's this amazing new teacher who teaches us, the one who everyone has got the hots for!! he he he!!
he ain't a good looking guy or sumthing but theres definitely something in the way he teaches he is just outstanding!!!! he knows EVERY-tiny-THING!!!!
he should have been teaching in Harvard or something, whats he doing in bhagat singh (said with emphasis)....umm not to miss his contagious-comma-killer-comma-wicked smile. lol. (enough Priyanka)

Things had been really messy for me lately, everythings fine now, I'm really happy...
There are still some things left to be thought about..ahh i don't wanna get into all that now- enough's been on me!!

I want this year to end on a 'really' happy note- its the last year of college I have no damn idea what would the next year bring, where would I be and what the hell would I be doing. Suddenly it feels you've been stranded and told to live on your own- ALONE! (psychologically). The tough part begins now. I mean no kidding I'm 20 for god sakes that really means something. ( i know i just can't get enough of the brooding).

Life's getting so sad!

booHoo

Something new

It all got so monotonous so I decided to change...contemplation was so cliched so I thought deliberations could bring out something new. The template is also changed and the comments thing is back and the cbox is gone...blah blah---its an outcome of boredom plus a reason to break out of lethargy.

Anyways,
Its the start of winter- I love them, the fog the warm sweaters and jackets and shoes and coffee mugs and blankets. Its all so amazing. Time is flying man!!!
I really have to pace up with my novel now- theres hardly time left and not even done halfway through it.
Sons and Lovers by D.H. Lawrence, I think only literature students get to read stuff like this. But I like it- its about family, about love and Oedipus complex.
It sometimes delights me to be a literature student, its gives you an edge. Your critque level increases and you start finding the smallest of doubts in everything you see. You start thinking how better something can get. You start speaking splendid words in the normal spoken language, you get to read the popular stuff. And you'll come across a lotta Williams- there'll be atleast one William in every novel or play. You'll start relating yourself to the characters. You'll abuse Shakespeare at least once.

My internals are less than a month away now and soon there'll be the externals and soon BANG...end of my college. I'm not cribbing because, well, I have spent the last 3 yrs brooding to why am I in this college? But then friends and the fun will be missed - I guess thats what college is about. Shradha told me a few days ago that I changed her- in a good way! I felt soo happy...I wanted to tell her that she changed me too. She taught me that being a bitch sometimes is GOOD...and yes it is!!! Not that I'm a bitch or she's a bitch but when we have to We should always be one. She taught me to be real- that's when my melodrama cracks out and I become over-sensitive. I taught her to be equal to what people do to you.

Oedipus Complex is basically a crap theory if you read it or listen to it but in literal meanings its an art of writing a novel and understanding lOVE- in whichever form it maybe. its all about acceptance.
Remember in Dil Chahta Hai when Sid slaps Akash because he made fun of Sid's love with a woman who's the age of his mother. That's okay.
Oedipus is about a love between a mother and son, its an obsession of a mother for her son that she never lets any girl enter his life.
thats what happens in Sons and Lovers. Paul, the son, is in love with a girl Miriam but the presence of the tension on his mothers face due to this breaks him down and he can't confess his love for Miriam.

He did not know himself what was the matter. He was naturally so young, and their intimacy was so abstract, he did not know he wanted to crush onto his breast to ease the ache there. He was afraid of her. The fact that he might want her as a man wnats a woman had in him been supressed into shame. When she shrank in her convulsed, coiled torture from the thought of such a thing, he had winced to the depths of his soul. And now this 'purity' prevented even their first love kiss. It was as if she could scarcely stand the shock of physical love, even a passionate kiss, and then he was too shrinking and sensitive to give it............

after one paragraph...

.......he hated her, for she seemed, in some way, to make him despise himself.

To how it hurts when both of them know they are in love but the strangeness of love is such that it can't always allow you to rise. Love has its own principles.

I watched Dil dosti etc. its a different thing altogether, a bold thing....but I liked what it teaches.
One lives for Love, one dies for Love. Both ways the Love has different meanings. But in the end we hear from Apurv (the casanova) that he missed Vaishali the most (the prostitute).

Love is mystical.

All 'that' stuff...

My brain doesnt bother to move a step ahead and think more these days, all its stuck on is my future- which seems to be in the dark. I think all my blogs and my talks sound the same and thats why most of the listeners around me yawn pretty often. My useles head has given up thinking...and I have become boring. Waise when it comes to speaking, I'm quite unstoppable, I remember people used to say to me 'tu chup kab rehti hai', though that was back in school, now I'm a lil quieter than the usual me. Speaking is fun.

Diwali's gone..gone..gone. you know suddenly everything becomes so quiet n all but this diwali was fun and I became rich on bhaiya dooj and since then I have a smile on my face. money talks baby!!
There are some super fundu people bothering me these days- actually they aren't, but I just feel like that there existence is quite enough a botheration to me, though I'm not exactly in touch with them but they deserve to KNOW what I can do. This is actually not too much of a deal to me but eh I'm hell bored today.

I have fallen in deep love----with my phone and that too after getting a super cool software in it- ahmm its a dictionary and a thesaurus and its better than my big fat dictionary. lame? so?? i love it. hehe
I mixed up the meaning of pretentious and precarious today. They don't really have anything in common except for the letter p.

I dunno what am I so hyper abt???!!??

ah... ingepo (tamil gudbye i suppppose)

Try Saying This Rapidly and Continuously:

Cheap ship trip.

^_^

In happiness, in pain, in love, in agony and in "whatever".

The first year of happy blogging completed.
Aaaaaaand its been good. No, Grrreat!!
Afterall Li'l Miss Priyanka could do something.

Initially writing down something on broadband, which, by the way, the whole world could see, was too much an ordeal for me (not that they were waiting.blah.). I plunged myself into a pretentious mission and made a blog. Well, here it is, not any different than the scraps I used to have in a torn diary but only better. Those tit bits are now fit into a well formulated blog. I enjoy writing, reading and I enjoy what it brings into me. It tells me that I can be better, teaches me that I can be good and worse at the same time which is good in its own way. It makes me hang on to the memories which might just get lost in my brain otherwise. Its anyways full of gibberish. It gives me strength to be creative.

The BOTTOMLINE:
I'm a happy blogger.

So here goes a cheers to, uh- well, me and my blog!

Now, Don't you call that a SMILE!!!

I feel like I'm in 7th std. again- the way I got crazy for a Hrithik when he was new.

But just to console myself I look at this guys face and then say "bahut ho gaya". You know Im a grown up now. But just loook at him. where do you have such guys? he should be preserved sumwhere just to be looked at. Masha-allah!

I told Mom yesterday to find me husband like him..hehe...n she was like you are crazyy!!...lol

Anyways- I saw Jab we met. Its a crazzzzyyy movie. very cute. Kareena is looking good. even Shahid for tht matter. He's been himself for the first time.

The music of saawariya is soo soothing. also hear the song in jab we met called tumse hi...its beautiful and much better if you're in love!

Tumse hi din hota hai

surmayi shaam aati hai

tumse hi tumse hi....

FUCK title!!!!

Why is life reminding me everyday thats its gonna be hell out there....
I just wanna cry...mannn what the hell am I supposed to do. Lately I realised that whats the harm in being a lecturer?? isn't it? wont it be cool?

I love English but do I love it to that extent? And would I (in extra capital bold) be doing an M.phil n Phd??? ( ha ha )

• Journalism has gone down the drain
• MBA is like the only thing that "pays".
• PG courses have lost value. read the above line again.

What else

• UK is too expensive.
• USA needs 16 years of Education, We Indians just have 15.
• Australia is just desperate. period.

So, I just wanna saw WOW....

Before anyone gets hypercritical....(even me for tht matter)

The blog below is a slaughter... It usually comes out when Im in total loss of words along with an uncontrallable need to write something!!!

Enjoy, if u can!

I have no clue to what the following is about....

I never feel I can take a decision by myself, a mature decision. I feel like no matter how old I keep growing up I am still stuck with a mind of a 13 yr old. Feels like Im retarted at some level. It seems that there could never be a time when I throw my hands up in the air and say " that's the way it should be". Seems that there has to be a militariatic regime that I have to follow (I don't even know if that's a word). It's time I learnt I could do something, Be something/one. I have tried, to be something different with a motto or maybe i wanna say motive here, whatever. Things that I do are too easy. Watching TV is easy, eating a big bowl of popcorn is easy, thinking of what to wear next day is eas--at times--y, thinking of what next for getting angry is easy. Writing a blog, who no one really cares about by the way, is easy.

Doesn't seem like fun now does it?

I think I need to go bungee jumping, or skydiving or something...

Sometimes life takes hold of one, carries the body along, accomplishes one's history, and yet is not real, but leaves one's self as it were slurred over.

~~Sons and Lovers by D.H. Lawrence

So, I'm twenty!!


Its gone.....Allll gone.....the teenage is over now!!! uwaaaaaahhhh!

Well so is the brooding..err MOURNING- i have to get used to it now, I'd rather start behaving like an adult. People tell me that I don't act my age- I wonder if thats said in a nice way or a bad way...

There's lots that i wish to do now: I wanna change my dressing sense, my attitude, I wanna grow up a li'l bit, wanna kill someone (yes i so do... don't wanna name that creature), wanna start taking my eductaion seriously, wanna become responsible, wanna stop being the 'Emotional Fool' queen....crap!


Right now?
I wanna shut the fuck up with this nonsensical figment of imagination.


I loved my 20th birthday- I was climbing Vaishno Devi and hyperventilating (not complaining-its all worth it). But it was amazing- first i get to cut a brownie at CCD there and celebrate, then, I get to see the Ind-Aus match at bhawan on a black n white miniature tv with a hell lotta strangers and shout on our win- it was soooo coool!!! Not to forget the Darshan- It might sound lame to a lotta people (err aliens) but i had an amazing time!! barefoot on the cold stone pathway-brrrr! its crazily soothing.

Can you believe it? 7 big years of teenage are gone, vanished, disappeared, departed, GONE!!!!!!
oh well let me just stop the melodrama now and accept the fact tht I'm twenty!
*sigh*

Today is Mum Dads 27th Marriage Anniversary- I didnt do anything spl- ashamed *red* but they like it simple!! so happppy anniversary to them!!!!

Arbitrary Deliberations

Looking at some things and wondering why it exists or happens or whatever is ...well..a waste of time. But they make me wonder...and I have personal issues against them, I might sound judgmental...

1. The whole new MBA deal- it sounds like a pact between two nations or maybe the entire world that start giving MBA in langars to all the people- its the newest trend you know!! My foot!!
2. Why are we still called "blacks" and "browns"?- The people who discriminate Indians and the like after the British are Aussies- Why don't we call the Aussies TRIBAL PEOPLE?after all thats what Australia is, the British are born Losers so why care for them.
3. Do you not care for the better of the country?- If Himesh Reshammiya can cover his head, what is the fucking problem with covering his eww*&$@*& chest- for the love of god someone please tell him it doesnt appeal anyone- it doesnt even make anyone think you are a man. He's also stuck up with the word "genuinely"-just count the number of times he says that next time you see him speak.
4. The next time you see SRK in Om Shanti Om just take care while you be judgemental about him- they are not six pack abs- NO- they are EIGHT PACK ABS. That's just too great an addition to the already *pride of the nation abs*. Man!!
5. Ricky Ponting looks like Jerry Mouse - the evil version. don't you hate him? ok Maybe you don't but I do with all his Blabbing in the Tribal accent.
6. Lost is the most amazing series I have ever watched- maybe it is too tied but its amazing. James 'Sawyer' Ford is HOT!!!!
7. Compromise is an underestimated word.
8. I think Ranbir Kapoor is going to be good...he is kind-aaaa cute- I was the first person to say for him "bakwaas" but my head took a toll.

Quote-

"Living is easy with eyes closed"- Charlie's tattoo in Lost.

Everyones a boss...ya ya be one!!

Why does everyone love to give comments and pravachans and all that shit....WHY??? I know it's easy but don't underestimate anyone, telling you..
It's frustrating when people start judging you and that too when you don't expect them to, I hate it, I have a life and I know what its going to be all about. I have a right to do what I want and can.

If someone thinks I can't do something, they are out of tune then. Talk when I am Something....Someone. You'll watch!!!

A Pigment of the colour of Life!

You know what is really weird?
That everybody on this planet has to deal with something or the other that isn't supposed to happen in their life.
But it happens.
All you can do is snap out of it. or keep Knowing that it happened.
The choice is ours. Yours.

Sometimes some things are Wrong but you know you can't deal without them. It just can't happen then!
Sometimes you know its not Right but you can't help.
Knowing that something is wrong and something is not right are two different things. Think about it.
But they have happened. are happening. will happen.
Life is THAT!

Someone said this to me today-

"Don't be afraid of doing anything that is not wrong, and its you who decides what is wrong and right, because it will always be about you!"

Unexpected wisdom out of someone. But it had implications. Not that I am in a situation that had this blog as an outcome, but you just learn like that.
Making decisions, trying to figure yourselves out- it takes a whole lifetime- and when you've known what YOU have been all about- it's all gone.

There are time in My life that makes a difficult situation. It's because I created it. But sometimes when I fall in one- its hard!

Just learn Life. slowly.

Krrrr-aaappp is the word!!!

SNAP in 2 months-oh Crap!
Final year- Oh crap!
What next- oh crap!
Everyone's preparing for either CAT or CA...and me- oh crap!
First semester gone- oh crap!
I'm gonna be 20 in like 12 days- oh-holy-shitty-smelly-bog blob of crap!!!!

This isn't exactly a poem by the way.

I don't wanna be 20!!! twenty- eww puke. nineTEEN- this is cool. I took one year to digest the fact that I'm older than eighteen and after I got over it I am 20... *nahiiiiiiii*!!! huh!

Anyways, its just 2 more days for the autumn break- its no autumn but its still called that way- weird!
so just wanna have fun these two days in colg- it'll be off for 15 days after tht!! Wow...
Shradha wouldn't come the whole of October and November- boo hoo!!....its her sis' marriage n shes preparing for CAT so she has to cope up with everything.

Apart from that everything is upside down for me. What the hell am I supposed to do now??? I didn't enrol for CAT so sweet dreams to me, I'm not a Mathemagician and Accountamagician and a psychedelic geek so cant opt for CA too...I guess i'll umm do err maybe hmm- crap!

So basically Im just hanging on between big potty stuff- I guess those philo uncles and aunties were right - Life IS tough!!!

The only thing that isn't crap is----as follows------

INDIAAAAAAAA WONNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wooooooooooooooooooooo-hoooooooooooooooooooooo--yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeHawwwwwwwwwwwww

It was soo much funnnnn---- We Beat the PAKISTANIS--- yeah baby!!!
The thrilll the fun the excitement....mannn!!!....Loved Bhajji's dance....hehe

And I got this Sms tht day n thot it was worth sharing:
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Misbah
Misbah who?
Miss ba 5 runs!!!!

LoL

It felt good looking at the fire crackers that day- even I burst a few....hee hee!!
Goodie!!

I'll jus scram!

Too long...

My number of blogs have got reduced or sumthin...n its been really long since i wrote the last one.
Anyways, lots been happening...with me, with others, with sum ppl i dun bother about and some whom i dun give a*you know what*. I don't understand why people really care so much to bother others when their own life is nuthin but a huggggeee JEEERO..heh heh
and i dun really wanna make them 'influenced' by wasting time and writing bout em in the blog, MY blog, want em to go jump in the lake by the way.
No, really!
But I just wonder what's into people these days- why do they .....ah..chuck it, whats worth 2 pence shudnt be talked abt.

Well, and I'm not in a mood to abuse right now. Feeling a li'l obtused...staying inside the charmed circle of life, stuck on with being stupid. Everyone's a little..ok, a lot pissed with me these days. "what did I do?"

Doesn't Matter.

Got a haircut lately, kinda like it- now ma hair is somewhat short- it gave me some change after 7 yrs of having long monotonous hair.
Went clubbing too back last week -i guess- was in a good mood that day- atleast- but those neurotic people closed down music at 12:30...ha ha....boo

Went out to a nice restaurant at pandara but I was feeling a li'l flown so din really eat nicely, which i regret by the way- n now i wish i could go n eat there- good food...yummiezz

So do i feel better?
I guess!- writing has always helped me
but maybe not this time-
ah umm maybe it did
er, hmph I don't know...

Its the I'm-a-little-crazy-Priyanka Phase on!!!

Mausam by Mehnaz

Mausam..hai Mausum jawaan
Mere sapno mein sapne jagaaye
Koi...aye yahan
leke mujhe dur jaaye

Mian hu tanha..Tanha dil hai
Koi mujhko churane to aaye

Saaya Tera... Saaya Mera
Sharma rahi hu main aise ki Jaise
tune mujhe kahin chhoo ke kaha...
Aaahaaaa!!

----the weather is sooo good!!!

THE NEW LOOK!!!

Been trying to make my blog look different for quite sometime now...mann!! its a kamar-todh job...
the comment area is gone but you guys (hello--ello-llo--o-oo *echo's back*)-uhumm no one's there to read - can post ur comments on the Tagboard- which indeed has been lying vacant ever since it was born...you know what...
eff you!!

Sooooo...thisss is my fusht blog since the Reformation-oh my god- I've given it a face lift sorta thing!!...

ALLL-yawn-RIGHT!!!... Enough of my calculations on the so called new look...no one bothers!! do i know that???? yeshhh!!

what else...college is good these days

I went to Metro Walk- Adventure Island ...what an adventure!!..well if you don't bother spending 270 bucks then go ahead twirl your heads...but it hurt me spending that much where splash means just two drops of water...haa!!

India Won the match yesterday- felt guuuhhhddd after a long time, i miss those times when there used to be fire crackers all over when India used to win a match...it felt the 'chakde India' feeling..the flick was nice!..Chautala rocked---bhains ki poonchh

US open is also on...go henin go!!!!
But I want Roddick to challenge Federer dis tym...nahh feddy is jus too good!!

mmm m hungry now...
for the lovers of mankind and angels of god- lemme kno how my blog is...hoohoo haa haa!!

yo!