I cried...

I can't explain how I loved this film....

The emotions touched me deeeeep inside and I couldn't control my tears.

MAA...

Main Kabhi Batlata Nahin

Par Andhere Se Darta Hoon Main Maa

Yun To Main,Dikhlata Nahin

Teri Parwaah Karta Hoon Main Maa

Tujhe Sab Hain Pata, Hain Na Maa

Tujhe Sab Hain Pata,,Meri Maa

Bheed Mein Yun Na Chodo Mujhe

Ghar Laut Ke Bhi Aa Naa Paoon Maa

Bhej Na Itna Door Mujkko Tu

Yaad Bhi Tujhko Aa Naa Paoon Maa

Kya Itna Bura Hoon Main Maa

Kya Itna Bura Meri Maa

Jab Bhi Kabhi Papa Mujhe

Jo Zor Se Jhoola Jhulate Hain Maa

Meri Nazar Dhoondhe Tujhe

Sochu Yahi Tu Aa Ke Thaamegi Maa

Unse Main Yeh Kehta Nahin

Par Main Seham Jaata Hoon Maa

Chehre Pe Aana Deta Nahin

Dil Hi Dil Mein Ghabraata Hoon Maa

Tujhe Sab Hai Pata Hai na Maa

Tujhe Sab Hai Pata Meri Maa

Bbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!

Mannn this colddd!!!

My hands are jammmed and m tremblinggg...
Its so weird eh...we all get fed up of delhi summers and wait for december cold and then we want the sun to be back!!..
I love winters but its too lazyy- feel like sittinng in the blanket getting warm..aahhh! dun even feel like gettin up for business...hehehe!!!

I guess the lowest has been 3.2 degree sumthin.....gives me the chillsss

Anyways it was last day of college today before the winter vacations and exams...gonna hv to tk a break frm all the blogging, internet (tho im not online as often as i used to be 2-3 yrs bak) and start studying hard...its the final yr afteralll!!!
But my stupid college people-- still gotta go on saturday for some form filling stuff....
Got my college sweatshirt..its coool!..will put up a pic of it soon..not too much of a flaunty stuff- its a darn bhagat singh sweatshirt..HA!!! stilll!!!

my hands are frozen now
tata!!...*aaaachhhoooooo*
and my nose!!!

A pretentious act!

First of all Thanks to Fattebaaz.com.

I have won an award, for the first time, for my blog dated 10th December. the badge is on the right side.

A few acknowledgements (the only non-pretentious part in here)

Prtaik Sir- for pushing us/me to not only think outta the box but outta the world, for inculcating a bona fide way of looking at things, and the most of all respecting literature.

Prof. Subhash Chandra- whose story turned lecture interested me that day.

John Milton's Paradise Lost- in a tiny way

My Phone dictionary which helps me when I'm almost on the verge of drowning myself when I don't even know the basics in Literature during my lectures by professors who at one point of time were expecting 'something' outta us.

Neha- who is highly annoyed by her office environment so I thought she could try it out on her boss.

And those who have tagged me.

Felix Culpa

Sometimes theres something in your head that keeps moving and never stops and then you know that you are confused- highly confused.

We learn from our wrong doings and that is why life is nice. Its worth it.
We all commit sins, mistakes, blunders etcetra but it gets redeemed. The circle of life gets complete then. We all should do things that makes ourselves feel good about it without regrets, without caring even a bit what the 'world' says. We'll fall but we'll know the fall was meant to be. We'll stand back again and one day we won't regret looking back.

I wish Life was a Movie.
As in....you know sumthin like...
Take just one day outta your daily routines and decide that today you'll be yourself. Don't care what your boss says, what your colleagues say, what your friends say and who so ever it may be. Live that day for yourself.

Don't like what your boss is wearing- say it on his/her face.
A showroom? say some designer dude, look at his clothes and say "what the fuck is this so heavily priced for, i can probably get sumthin done in 1/4th of the price and it'll look better".
Walked into your ex? Abuse (hindi gaali plzz strictly) or maybe spill coffee even better!!
Saw your worst enemy?? ask him watsup??? (this'll kill him)

This sounds so easy huh? Well play at your own risk...hehe
I wished its as easy to do as it sounds?
My point is just live one day according to yourself, nobody else's bloody business!!

Well, Anyways...filmi stuff over.
My professor had a different mood today, he talked of his love, his marriage, his son and his daughter-in-law (who he specifically called his daughter). He seemed to be so much satisfied with his life. He told us how he proposed his wife. How he asked her out for his very first date.

This man is now on a verge of retirement by early next year. And how he still blushed when he talked, taking his glasses off and cleaning them with his handkerchief after every minute- it was spotless clean but still.
He told us to do something nice, sweet just outta the blue for once.

I'm sure he is a very nice human being.

We all are getting Bhagat singh, DU sweatshirts soon, after all these years of cribbing and mourning over college life we finally became a lil connected to our dear college. its costing us but we decided to buy it. And we are gonna have a 'Jersey day' in college!

I think third year has finally come out with creativity.

later.

I have no words for a title right now...

I have a rush inside me, the same that was there an year and months ago, but this time it means something too big to let it go away...


Aaoge jab tum o saajana
angana phool khilenge
Barsega saawan, barsega saawan
Jhoom jhoomke

do dil aise milenge

chanda ko taaku raaton mein
hai zindagi tere haathon mein
palkon pe jhilmil taarein hain
aana bhari barsaaton mein
sapnon ka jahaan, hoga khila khila
barasega saawan, barsega saawan
jhoom jhoomke

do dil aise milenge

Lots has to be done, lots has to line up, lots has to be thought but before all that I just wanna say one thing to myself- theres no point in tormenting myself, I'm not a kid anymore that some thing will ruin me and my career and studies (it's not something though).


A voice inside me wants to shout on top of its voice


"DON'T GO"!!!!


This time I think its my conscience...
But that'll be selfish of me so I should be happy....


There has been so much I have wanted to write in here, but let that just be...for now this is all I have to say, let it all remain trapped inside me..


For Me and that part of me!!

Ugh!

Computer went bonkers, examz overhead, no-mood-for-internet, blah blah blah....

Y'know whats the height of frustration- now, when you realise that exams are just 5-6 days away and you FINALLY start preparing only to find out they are postponed- shitheads!!!

Its not confirmed but 99% they'll be in Jan...just great!!! ruin your new year and your holidays and your mind!!!!

English lectures have got interesting these days- there's this amazing new teacher who teaches us, the one who everyone has got the hots for!! he he he!!
he ain't a good looking guy or sumthing but theres definitely something in the way he teaches he is just outstanding!!!! he knows EVERY-tiny-THING!!!!
he should have been teaching in Harvard or something, whats he doing in bhagat singh (said with emphasis)....umm not to miss his contagious-comma-killer-comma-wicked smile. lol. (enough Priyanka)

Things had been really messy for me lately, everythings fine now, I'm really happy...
There are still some things left to be thought about..ahh i don't wanna get into all that now- enough's been on me!!

I want this year to end on a 'really' happy note- its the last year of college I have no damn idea what would the next year bring, where would I be and what the hell would I be doing. Suddenly it feels you've been stranded and told to live on your own- ALONE! (psychologically). The tough part begins now. I mean no kidding I'm 20 for god sakes that really means something. ( i know i just can't get enough of the brooding).

Life's getting so sad!

booHoo

Something new

It all got so monotonous so I decided to change...contemplation was so cliched so I thought deliberations could bring out something new. The template is also changed and the comments thing is back and the cbox is gone...blah blah---its an outcome of boredom plus a reason to break out of lethargy.

Anyways,
Its the start of winter- I love them, the fog the warm sweaters and jackets and shoes and coffee mugs and blankets. Its all so amazing. Time is flying man!!!
I really have to pace up with my novel now- theres hardly time left and not even done halfway through it.
Sons and Lovers by D.H. Lawrence, I think only literature students get to read stuff like this. But I like it- its about family, about love and Oedipus complex.
It sometimes delights me to be a literature student, its gives you an edge. Your critque level increases and you start finding the smallest of doubts in everything you see. You start thinking how better something can get. You start speaking splendid words in the normal spoken language, you get to read the popular stuff. And you'll come across a lotta Williams- there'll be atleast one William in every novel or play. You'll start relating yourself to the characters. You'll abuse Shakespeare at least once.

My internals are less than a month away now and soon there'll be the externals and soon BANG...end of my college. I'm not cribbing because, well, I have spent the last 3 yrs brooding to why am I in this college? But then friends and the fun will be missed - I guess thats what college is about. Shradha told me a few days ago that I changed her- in a good way! I felt soo happy...I wanted to tell her that she changed me too. She taught me that being a bitch sometimes is GOOD...and yes it is!!! Not that I'm a bitch or she's a bitch but when we have to We should always be one. She taught me to be real- that's when my melodrama cracks out and I become over-sensitive. I taught her to be equal to what people do to you.

Oedipus Complex is basically a crap theory if you read it or listen to it but in literal meanings its an art of writing a novel and understanding lOVE- in whichever form it maybe. its all about acceptance.
Remember in Dil Chahta Hai when Sid slaps Akash because he made fun of Sid's love with a woman who's the age of his mother. That's okay.
Oedipus is about a love between a mother and son, its an obsession of a mother for her son that she never lets any girl enter his life.
thats what happens in Sons and Lovers. Paul, the son, is in love with a girl Miriam but the presence of the tension on his mothers face due to this breaks him down and he can't confess his love for Miriam.

He did not know himself what was the matter. He was naturally so young, and their intimacy was so abstract, he did not know he wanted to crush onto his breast to ease the ache there. He was afraid of her. The fact that he might want her as a man wnats a woman had in him been supressed into shame. When she shrank in her convulsed, coiled torture from the thought of such a thing, he had winced to the depths of his soul. And now this 'purity' prevented even their first love kiss. It was as if she could scarcely stand the shock of physical love, even a passionate kiss, and then he was too shrinking and sensitive to give it............

after one paragraph...

.......he hated her, for she seemed, in some way, to make him despise himself.

To how it hurts when both of them know they are in love but the strangeness of love is such that it can't always allow you to rise. Love has its own principles.

I watched Dil dosti etc. its a different thing altogether, a bold thing....but I liked what it teaches.
One lives for Love, one dies for Love. Both ways the Love has different meanings. But in the end we hear from Apurv (the casanova) that he missed Vaishali the most (the prostitute).

Love is mystical.

All 'that' stuff...

My brain doesnt bother to move a step ahead and think more these days, all its stuck on is my future- which seems to be in the dark. I think all my blogs and my talks sound the same and thats why most of the listeners around me yawn pretty often. My useles head has given up thinking...and I have become boring. Waise when it comes to speaking, I'm quite unstoppable, I remember people used to say to me 'tu chup kab rehti hai', though that was back in school, now I'm a lil quieter than the usual me. Speaking is fun.

Diwali's gone..gone..gone. you know suddenly everything becomes so quiet n all but this diwali was fun and I became rich on bhaiya dooj and since then I have a smile on my face. money talks baby!!
There are some super fundu people bothering me these days- actually they aren't, but I just feel like that there existence is quite enough a botheration to me, though I'm not exactly in touch with them but they deserve to KNOW what I can do. This is actually not too much of a deal to me but eh I'm hell bored today.

I have fallen in deep love----with my phone and that too after getting a super cool software in it- ahmm its a dictionary and a thesaurus and its better than my big fat dictionary. lame? so?? i love it. hehe
I mixed up the meaning of pretentious and precarious today. They don't really have anything in common except for the letter p.

I dunno what am I so hyper abt???!!??

ah... ingepo (tamil gudbye i suppppose)

Try Saying This Rapidly and Continuously:

Cheap ship trip.

^_^

In happiness, in pain, in love, in agony and in "whatever".

The first year of happy blogging completed.
Aaaaaaand its been good. No, Grrreat!!
Afterall Li'l Miss Priyanka could do something.

Initially writing down something on broadband, which, by the way, the whole world could see, was too much an ordeal for me (not that they were waiting.blah.). I plunged myself into a pretentious mission and made a blog. Well, here it is, not any different than the scraps I used to have in a torn diary but only better. Those tit bits are now fit into a well formulated blog. I enjoy writing, reading and I enjoy what it brings into me. It tells me that I can be better, teaches me that I can be good and worse at the same time which is good in its own way. It makes me hang on to the memories which might just get lost in my brain otherwise. Its anyways full of gibberish. It gives me strength to be creative.

The BOTTOMLINE:
I'm a happy blogger.

So here goes a cheers to, uh- well, me and my blog!

Now, Don't you call that a SMILE!!!

I feel like I'm in 7th std. again- the way I got crazy for a Hrithik when he was new.

But just to console myself I look at this guys face and then say "bahut ho gaya". You know Im a grown up now. But just loook at him. where do you have such guys? he should be preserved sumwhere just to be looked at. Masha-allah!

I told Mom yesterday to find me husband like him..hehe...n she was like you are crazyy!!...lol

Anyways- I saw Jab we met. Its a crazzzzyyy movie. very cute. Kareena is looking good. even Shahid for tht matter. He's been himself for the first time.

The music of saawariya is soo soothing. also hear the song in jab we met called tumse hi...its beautiful and much better if you're in love!

Tumse hi din hota hai

surmayi shaam aati hai

tumse hi tumse hi....

FUCK title!!!!

Why is life reminding me everyday thats its gonna be hell out there....
I just wanna cry...mannn what the hell am I supposed to do. Lately I realised that whats the harm in being a lecturer?? isn't it? wont it be cool?

I love English but do I love it to that extent? And would I (in extra capital bold) be doing an M.phil n Phd??? ( ha ha )

• Journalism has gone down the drain
• MBA is like the only thing that "pays".
• PG courses have lost value. read the above line again.

What else

• UK is too expensive.
• USA needs 16 years of Education, We Indians just have 15.
• Australia is just desperate. period.

So, I just wanna saw WOW....

Before anyone gets hypercritical....(even me for tht matter)

The blog below is a slaughter... It usually comes out when Im in total loss of words along with an uncontrallable need to write something!!!

Enjoy, if u can!

I have no clue to what the following is about....

I never feel I can take a decision by myself, a mature decision. I feel like no matter how old I keep growing up I am still stuck with a mind of a 13 yr old. Feels like Im retarted at some level. It seems that there could never be a time when I throw my hands up in the air and say " that's the way it should be". Seems that there has to be a militariatic regime that I have to follow (I don't even know if that's a word). It's time I learnt I could do something, Be something/one. I have tried, to be something different with a motto or maybe i wanna say motive here, whatever. Things that I do are too easy. Watching TV is easy, eating a big bowl of popcorn is easy, thinking of what to wear next day is eas--at times--y, thinking of what next for getting angry is easy. Writing a blog, who no one really cares about by the way, is easy.

Doesn't seem like fun now does it?

I think I need to go bungee jumping, or skydiving or something...

Sometimes life takes hold of one, carries the body along, accomplishes one's history, and yet is not real, but leaves one's self as it were slurred over.

~~Sons and Lovers by D.H. Lawrence

So, I'm twenty!!


Its gone.....Allll gone.....the teenage is over now!!! uwaaaaaahhhh!

Well so is the brooding..err MOURNING- i have to get used to it now, I'd rather start behaving like an adult. People tell me that I don't act my age- I wonder if thats said in a nice way or a bad way...

There's lots that i wish to do now: I wanna change my dressing sense, my attitude, I wanna grow up a li'l bit, wanna kill someone (yes i so do... don't wanna name that creature), wanna start taking my eductaion seriously, wanna become responsible, wanna stop being the 'Emotional Fool' queen....crap!


Right now?
I wanna shut the fuck up with this nonsensical figment of imagination.


I loved my 20th birthday- I was climbing Vaishno Devi and hyperventilating (not complaining-its all worth it). But it was amazing- first i get to cut a brownie at CCD there and celebrate, then, I get to see the Ind-Aus match at bhawan on a black n white miniature tv with a hell lotta strangers and shout on our win- it was soooo coool!!! Not to forget the Darshan- It might sound lame to a lotta people (err aliens) but i had an amazing time!! barefoot on the cold stone pathway-brrrr! its crazily soothing.

Can you believe it? 7 big years of teenage are gone, vanished, disappeared, departed, GONE!!!!!!
oh well let me just stop the melodrama now and accept the fact tht I'm twenty!
*sigh*

Today is Mum Dads 27th Marriage Anniversary- I didnt do anything spl- ashamed *red* but they like it simple!! so happppy anniversary to them!!!!

Arbitrary Deliberations

Looking at some things and wondering why it exists or happens or whatever is ...well..a waste of time. But they make me wonder...and I have personal issues against them, I might sound judgmental...

1. The whole new MBA deal- it sounds like a pact between two nations or maybe the entire world that start giving MBA in langars to all the people- its the newest trend you know!! My foot!!
2. Why are we still called "blacks" and "browns"?- The people who discriminate Indians and the like after the British are Aussies- Why don't we call the Aussies TRIBAL PEOPLE?after all thats what Australia is, the British are born Losers so why care for them.
3. Do you not care for the better of the country?- If Himesh Reshammiya can cover his head, what is the fucking problem with covering his eww*&$@*& chest- for the love of god someone please tell him it doesnt appeal anyone- it doesnt even make anyone think you are a man. He's also stuck up with the word "genuinely"-just count the number of times he says that next time you see him speak.
4. The next time you see SRK in Om Shanti Om just take care while you be judgemental about him- they are not six pack abs- NO- they are EIGHT PACK ABS. That's just too great an addition to the already *pride of the nation abs*. Man!!
5. Ricky Ponting looks like Jerry Mouse - the evil version. don't you hate him? ok Maybe you don't but I do with all his Blabbing in the Tribal accent.
6. Lost is the most amazing series I have ever watched- maybe it is too tied but its amazing. James 'Sawyer' Ford is HOT!!!!
7. Compromise is an underestimated word.
8. I think Ranbir Kapoor is going to be good...he is kind-aaaa cute- I was the first person to say for him "bakwaas" but my head took a toll.

Quote-

"Living is easy with eyes closed"- Charlie's tattoo in Lost.

Everyones a boss...ya ya be one!!

Why does everyone love to give comments and pravachans and all that shit....WHY??? I know it's easy but don't underestimate anyone, telling you..
It's frustrating when people start judging you and that too when you don't expect them to, I hate it, I have a life and I know what its going to be all about. I have a right to do what I want and can.

If someone thinks I can't do something, they are out of tune then. Talk when I am Something....Someone. You'll watch!!!

A Pigment of the colour of Life!

You know what is really weird?
That everybody on this planet has to deal with something or the other that isn't supposed to happen in their life.
But it happens.
All you can do is snap out of it. or keep Knowing that it happened.
The choice is ours. Yours.

Sometimes some things are Wrong but you know you can't deal without them. It just can't happen then!
Sometimes you know its not Right but you can't help.
Knowing that something is wrong and something is not right are two different things. Think about it.
But they have happened. are happening. will happen.
Life is THAT!

Someone said this to me today-

"Don't be afraid of doing anything that is not wrong, and its you who decides what is wrong and right, because it will always be about you!"

Unexpected wisdom out of someone. But it had implications. Not that I am in a situation that had this blog as an outcome, but you just learn like that.
Making decisions, trying to figure yourselves out- it takes a whole lifetime- and when you've known what YOU have been all about- it's all gone.

There are time in My life that makes a difficult situation. It's because I created it. But sometimes when I fall in one- its hard!

Just learn Life. slowly.

Krrrr-aaappp is the word!!!

SNAP in 2 months-oh Crap!
Final year- Oh crap!
What next- oh crap!
Everyone's preparing for either CAT or CA...and me- oh crap!
First semester gone- oh crap!
I'm gonna be 20 in like 12 days- oh-holy-shitty-smelly-bog blob of crap!!!!

This isn't exactly a poem by the way.

I don't wanna be 20!!! twenty- eww puke. nineTEEN- this is cool. I took one year to digest the fact that I'm older than eighteen and after I got over it I am 20... *nahiiiiiiii*!!! huh!

Anyways, its just 2 more days for the autumn break- its no autumn but its still called that way- weird!
so just wanna have fun these two days in colg- it'll be off for 15 days after tht!! Wow...
Shradha wouldn't come the whole of October and November- boo hoo!!....its her sis' marriage n shes preparing for CAT so she has to cope up with everything.

Apart from that everything is upside down for me. What the hell am I supposed to do now??? I didn't enrol for CAT so sweet dreams to me, I'm not a Mathemagician and Accountamagician and a psychedelic geek so cant opt for CA too...I guess i'll umm do err maybe hmm- crap!

So basically Im just hanging on between big potty stuff- I guess those philo uncles and aunties were right - Life IS tough!!!

The only thing that isn't crap is----as follows------

INDIAAAAAAAA WONNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wooooooooooooooooooooo-hoooooooooooooooooooooo--yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeHawwwwwwwwwwwww

It was soo much funnnnn---- We Beat the PAKISTANIS--- yeah baby!!!
The thrilll the fun the excitement....mannn!!!....Loved Bhajji's dance....hehe

And I got this Sms tht day n thot it was worth sharing:
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Misbah
Misbah who?
Miss ba 5 runs!!!!

LoL

It felt good looking at the fire crackers that day- even I burst a few....hee hee!!
Goodie!!

I'll jus scram!

Too long...

My number of blogs have got reduced or sumthin...n its been really long since i wrote the last one.
Anyways, lots been happening...with me, with others, with sum ppl i dun bother about and some whom i dun give a*you know what*. I don't understand why people really care so much to bother others when their own life is nuthin but a huggggeee JEEERO..heh heh
and i dun really wanna make them 'influenced' by wasting time and writing bout em in the blog, MY blog, want em to go jump in the lake by the way.
No, really!
But I just wonder what's into people these days- why do they .....ah..chuck it, whats worth 2 pence shudnt be talked abt.

Well, and I'm not in a mood to abuse right now. Feeling a li'l obtused...staying inside the charmed circle of life, stuck on with being stupid. Everyone's a little..ok, a lot pissed with me these days. "what did I do?"

Doesn't Matter.

Got a haircut lately, kinda like it- now ma hair is somewhat short- it gave me some change after 7 yrs of having long monotonous hair.
Went clubbing too back last week -i guess- was in a good mood that day- atleast- but those neurotic people closed down music at 12:30...ha ha....boo

Went out to a nice restaurant at pandara but I was feeling a li'l flown so din really eat nicely, which i regret by the way- n now i wish i could go n eat there- good food...yummiezz

So do i feel better?
I guess!- writing has always helped me
but maybe not this time-
ah umm maybe it did
er, hmph I don't know...

Its the I'm-a-little-crazy-Priyanka Phase on!!!

Mausam by Mehnaz

Mausam..hai Mausum jawaan
Mere sapno mein sapne jagaaye
Koi...aye yahan
leke mujhe dur jaaye

Mian hu tanha..Tanha dil hai
Koi mujhko churane to aaye

Saaya Tera... Saaya Mera
Sharma rahi hu main aise ki Jaise
tune mujhe kahin chhoo ke kaha...
Aaahaaaa!!

----the weather is sooo good!!!

THE NEW LOOK!!!

Been trying to make my blog look different for quite sometime now...mann!! its a kamar-todh job...
the comment area is gone but you guys (hello--ello-llo--o-oo *echo's back*)-uhumm no one's there to read - can post ur comments on the Tagboard- which indeed has been lying vacant ever since it was born...you know what...
eff you!!

Sooooo...thisss is my fusht blog since the Reformation-oh my god- I've given it a face lift sorta thing!!...

ALLL-yawn-RIGHT!!!... Enough of my calculations on the so called new look...no one bothers!! do i know that???? yeshhh!!

what else...college is good these days

I went to Metro Walk- Adventure Island ...what an adventure!!..well if you don't bother spending 270 bucks then go ahead twirl your heads...but it hurt me spending that much where splash means just two drops of water...haa!!

India Won the match yesterday- felt guuuhhhddd after a long time, i miss those times when there used to be fire crackers all over when India used to win a match...it felt the 'chakde India' feeling..the flick was nice!..Chautala rocked---bhains ki poonchh

US open is also on...go henin go!!!!
But I want Roddick to challenge Federer dis tym...nahh feddy is jus too good!!

mmm m hungry now...
for the lovers of mankind and angels of god- lemme kno how my blog is...hoohoo haa haa!!

yo!

The computer is infernal again!- (sorry hp)- and its a rotten piece of shit!!

It just deleted my whole post all by itself.

Well I was just wondering how lame has the whole crappy computer business gone- stuck up with 'wassup' and 'ciao' and all that stuff we have online.
So wat else? doesnt it seem that at one point of time we all will be looking for a better presentable answer to this profound question apart from 'nuthin much!!'

I mean c'mon life is better than 'nuthin much'!!
Everybody's life is glued up in msn n g-chats and everybody is wondering "whats up???"

What is new in the online life?- another account in facebook and what do i get??- insane amount of mails and messages telling me what others are doing in their life!!! okay yes i was exactly waiting for this to happen in my life!-uh wait- i forgot to say -Yay!!

..but blogging is different *stupid grin on my face*!!

Anyways moving on... right now my social life is also almost on an apocalypse..i go to college come back..again i go to college come back- though thts just temporary but whatever!!

I was never really a person that I am today- I am much more better- earlier, n thats like a few years ago, I used to be this very obnoxious, kiddish girl with loads of gibberish in head and I always tried to keep it within me as I didn't much know more than that. But it always came out when there were shit loads of brainy and witty people around- So Miss priyanka never really had a reputation-basically what was reputation???
then I learnt gossiping and bitching and back biting (well in a genuine way) and my life was ALLL better!!!!- I am suddenly a heroine (exaggerated word but whatever makes me happy...its my blog *pfrrt*)

Move on and chill!!! Life has indeed become this -atleast for me it is!!

Soon it'll be 50!!!

Now I never knew i'd be so into blogging...From a worn out diary to a sophisticated blog- alls been amazing- the pens tht didnt work but i still kept on writing and now the screwy cable net but i still keep on refreshing- alls been loved

Anyways, now how bout a better first day for your last year in college...
first of all i begin college too late only to expect back to back classes and a chatttttterrbox new teacher- she had to explain everything...

Me- Maa'm all other colleges get the optional paper choice, I want you to pressurize
the HOD a li'l bit so she can change her mind

She- i can talk to her but i can't pressurize, i would rather emphasise on her- u see theres
a difference

Me- *Oh I'm sorry i was just speaking English, I dunno how to speak *&%$^???*

then she does it again

Shradha- Maam the room in this block is a lil skimpy can u change the room to the other
block

She- You see the thing is that we have around 25 students, half of them dun show up usually
but if they do for instance say tomorrow we might need a bigger room so what I can do
is that find a room in the other block and switch.

Shradha- uh-ye-okkaayy *din't i say the same thing and save energy at the same time*

What solid entertainment!!

*yawn*...
Cya

The Candid Talk!!

I don't even know why did I even have the damn time to think that my college would be interesting after the long summer break- this is whats called height of boredom

Mission Cha-bar

It actually began with a hunt to find this place in the statesman building...I know advertising can be expensive but boss atleast tell you are watchman that there actually exists a place with that name!

And I couldn’t get any cheaper by asking for a lift from "STAR" and then describing his car as AC waali Lambi Gaadi...We r Indians, we're cheap! I mean what's new??!!

And so began the worthless talk-err-debate on what is the condition of our country, I mean come on… I haven’t seen myself talking some sense in like years- the last time I spoke sense was probably when I was in school and that too on stage about some terrorism discussion. Or Maybe when there was a total freakkkkked out hype for that social association AIESEC
So why do I call it worthless?
Because no one cares a shit about our opinions!

I mean what is the govt. giving us man?
A bunch of quotas for those minorities, which makes us into deeper shit because we see them join Jamia’s and Stephen’s and we just WATCH crows and birds fly outside the campus!!! is this what the majority of the population is getting??

What happened to all those who protested? a month long coverage on news channels????- FINISHED???? Waste of 100's of litres of water to push them back??

We don't need a PM like Manmohan 'Sonia' Singh

Not even a CM as Sheila Dikshit
does it matter to who is the PM or the CM...its always gonna be the same.

I don't say the American or Uk govt. is not corrupt but the people are happy- they get what they want, atleast to the limit.

Ok so we can boast about the metro, and all those Jazzy octopus Flyovers- but do we exactly have anything to THANK the govt. for???

Things I don't get bored doing...

Was watching an old season of friends today..
Had fun with me!
I just realised that there are a hell lotta things that i can't get over with...
doing them since like ages- still brings back the same old smile, the same old happiness back on on my face and i just love doing them without the intention of it!

You know..things like...

Laughing on the old Chandler-Joey jokes
or be it any episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
Eating Maggi
Watching Jo Jeeta wohi Sikandar or Andaz Apna Apna
Calling Anuradha and giving Missed Calls to Aditi
Talkin to Nishant on MSN
Hearing Neha call me "Pompie"! -It's just too fit to be stupid but i Love it!
Listening to Chandni Raatein at night....
Talking in Baby Voices!
Splashing water on Mom (she loves it- I looooovee it)
Finding Dads Chappals when they go deep under the bed. (hee hee)
Blogging!!!
Calling Mom "heroine" and "chhori"!
Calling Dad "uncle"!!
Mawaali Dancing on "Beedi"!!
Laughing on the stupidest Joke possible!
Singing "Allah ke Bande" in a Bhikari Voice!
Calling Popcorn as "Cokkom" and Chutney as "Chuntie"..
Commenting on "Baayees number waaley"....my sis will figure this out (hey Neha..isnt it fun???)
Abusing cutely...."Ullu Patta" and "fook you"

Oh Gawd- I'm laughing so hard now
Are you??- ha!! as if i care! *Fook you*

kheeeeee!! <---- I love saying this too!!

Resurrection...

A lot has changed when i last sat down and "wrote".

Been busy. Been thoughful. Been angry. Been upset. Been joyed. Been OVER-joyed. Been subversive. Been Cranky (n believe me been this the most). Been crazy (as always). Been sensible. Been Talkative (what-ative??), Been Religous. Been hateful. Been Intimidated. Been Nervous. Been Abusive. Been Transgressive. Been Smitten. Been Excruciating. (hey i know a lotta adjectives!!! so lemme add.....) Been Reading Newspapers!!!
Been Me!!!!!

I have realised how things mess up that easily but when you Believe.. they are okay the next minute.

I have entered a space where I am supposed to feel good and feel insecure the same time. Last year of my college (which has already been fucked...umm not so much in the past 2 years), and the last chance i get to see me settled somwhere. To decide that SOMEWHERE is SOMETHING.

The PR i work in these days is keeping me busy. Away from HBO and STAR MOVIES which was getting on my nerves. Also keeping me away from a good night sleep- which again is getting on my nerves.
Days go by like a superfast train witout stoppages. Fixing my room, Making tea for Mom, Dancing on Himesh Reshammiya numbers (try this out its the best stress buster, better than alcohol, you'll end up laughing so hard!), Watching NatGeo with Dad- all's being missed these days-Honestly!
Never mind- it's temporary!

Radio one has vanished into thin air like a magical pixie horse!!

Life's too busy to die!!!
But Life's just shitting around with everbody- I'm telling you!!...It'll end!!

So am I back with a Bang????
(haha as if the population of india waits fr my blog than Ekta Kapoor's unimaginable mess)

Goodie byebye

Just another blog!


My phone has got some stupid problems- the handsfree don't connect, the charger has to be hit twice so it starts working!!! I love my phone though- Don't want to get it damaged anyhow!


Anyways I have started reading "To Kill a Mockingbird"-by Harper Lee. The beginning was head twisting but now that i'v read it a li'l bit its turning out to be a book i wanna "Finish"...

I never read novels in my life- whenever i started to read any either I would yawn 3 or 4 times and shut it or keep on reading till I realised I didn't know what was I doing!!

But the first books I DID finish was Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone followed by the Chamber of Secrets, then came Azkaban and my interest died- the era of unfinished books began again!!!

So I never really "LOVED" Potter series though i did manage to read the first two then it was all stupid- sorry to any Rowling fan out there!


Now that I've ended up being a literature student, quite contrary to what i portrayed myself in the aforesaid para's, so reading is now a part of my life, and i have indeed enjoyed some novels in my course! I want to read "A Thousand Splendid Suns" by Khaled Hosseini now after i get done with mockingbird!
I even wanna read "Going to school in India" by Lisa Heydlauff- i have never seen a beautiful book than this, its been lying with me since 4 years and i haven't read it- stupid me!
Anyways I have officially become a film club member in the india habitat centre- just to explore what doc's and movies can enlight one with!
moreover i get to go to eatopia more often- i loved the tandoori chicken sandwich i had today!!!!!!! *sluuuurrrpppp*

Radio one is dead for a while (as in with me, not technically). They say I'll get a recording but forget it for days!!! *sigh*

chalo bye!

What happens if Usher and a "lungi" mix

Mindless blogging with provocative shit

Throughout life I haven’t really figured out a day when I’m really making sense. I might not be doing that RIGHT NOW, But sometimes Bullshit makes sense too.
What does the world need? A good amount of attitude, a good deal of false happiness and pride that makes THEM think they own the world or maybe just a li’l useless time to make them do all that’s nothing but worthless.
What is it with making a public blog and showing the world that you got talent- My FOOT! A li’l words here, a li’l words there- twist the language-use intricate words- basically don’t make sense and VOILA!!!- You are a wonderful writer. Oh –No WAIT- I wrote a poem that doesn’t make sense actually BUT it’s good!!!- what shame you’re not famous!!!! *two minute silence*
Literature (my subject) is something worthwhile- I know it’s the most boring thing to do but I like it and I respect what Shakespeare or Donne or other people have been doing. During Exams I can’t give the loudest voice for a “SHEEET” and wait for the world to look at me because I did a Nobel-prize winning deed. Oh gawdd she filled like what 10 sheets (extra)- what!!!… did you write in like an extra bold font or you wrote the story of rang de basanti in it?
The word sarcasm wasn’t really popular you know and now some people who have just known its meaning for like a day brag about it. Being sarcastic is Not a boon you losers- it isn’t actually “social”.

That’s what Biggies do as well- what’s different is that they just speak shit, as if it is all overconfident self-righteous wisdom. The attentive listeners keep making their eyes as tiny as a chink just to make the speaker more confident of his screech-uh sorry-SPEECH. Ahem. Ya I know you have placed your name somewhere in the realm of fame (as you call it) but you are no celebrity dude!

You know- when people actually refer to their friend-celebrity as “down to earth”, I can bet that they are the most high flown tempered people.

Ah it was yet another day when I don’t know if I made sense.

Why doesn't this silly template have a title option!!!

I was wet in the rain yesterday after soooooooooooooooooooo long...feltt soo good!
Had almost forgotten how the rain felt.

Was in college yesterday met some people, talked, explored....then went to barista (alone) i chaatofied the whole "indian express"- waited for anchal. then went to village cafe- nice time, good music!

The weather is sooo AAASUM- Makes me hear all oldies with a cup of coffee in hand....hmmm

Haridwar trip was cool, went for a safari as well- the roads were beautiful, nice way- but coudnt see anything except peacocks and deers in it. But have never been to a forest so it was amazing. The water was so cold there so it took me like an hour to actually put my feet in it. i love the "chhap chhap" stuff..heehee.

My results are gonna be out in like a month- shit scared- fuck hw did my exams go??- damn it!

-Amen

Campus RJ- or whatever!!!

Well that title wasn't actually supposed to be sarcastic but i dunno why i wrote it
Anyways the big thing(?) is that I was on air today fr like a minute- the bigger thing is how i fared in the studio
Gawd!!- I have this huge stage fright, i fumble i go mum n what not!!- been embaressed in school a lotta times, though this was a lot different than a stage- it was much more intimidating
See for yourself- a huge mic, a hugeee equipment, and the AC was freezing me to death- I was so nervous (M not like that) - made a joke outta me i think but still couldnt help it- m not a pro u kno. And who listens to radio one after all!!! (thats so cheap of me..hehe)
Anywaysss...
It wasn't anything big-
yes it was!
no it wasnt!!
yes it was!
NO it wasnt!!
(Maybe it was.n m goin crazy probably)

I got a li'l pissed too when I entered Radio One office today- when i travel miles i expect acknowledgment n no shit like its over!!!!! (hate it-was red with anger, i went to college splly to hav sumthin to sayy on air n i cant accept shittttt-NO WAY)

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy (major mood swings by the way!!)
I got over my lost wallet....know how?????
An angel in disguise calls me up and tells me he found it n i can collect it frm him!!! (woo hoo yipeeee)
luckkkkkkkyyy day...luckyyy me!!
PHEW!!!

IN A ZAPPP!!

dont hv time to elaborate shit so m gonna jus rush in...i wanted to write so badly...

I lost my wallet today-FUCK FUCK!!! FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKk
lost almost a grand mannn......booooo hoooo
goin to haridwar tomorrow so hopin fr gud..
blaaaaaaaaah
byeee
*sniff sniff*
miss you

Missssed!!

Fuck Hell--> my immediate reaction when I came to know I missed my first recording...
I had a smile on my face but I was pissed off as well, mixed emotions you know.

Anyways I will get a call soon- as the Rj said....so its cool!!

Mom and Tennis...
It's Roland Garros time!! I love watching Tennis, a few years back I didn't even know the T of Tennis...all I knew was that there was something called a deuce...no miniature clue to why was it there in the game but it existed.
Now I know Everything from T to the S of it, so I love the game. It's Fun!!
Y'kno whats more fun...watching it with mom, she loves the game too but she has her interests in the cute blue and pink frocks of Sharapova and Vaidisova.
Yesterday during Hewitt's and Nieminen's match she saw Nieminen n said "aye haye chua sa lag raha hai!!!!" and then saw Hewitt n said "isko to chaar din se khaana nahi mila!!!" loll
She likes Federer!!--me too!!

The Sane Nonsense...
Anyways I'm gonna be Back to college tomo again being the reporter comma radio one campus Rj...I hope its a better weather man, the sun is sooo happily shining these days!!!

I made a nice friend frm the lot of campus Rj's...hoping she isn't like "others"...but there was one thing common among us- we both want to be independent from the shadows of those who call us our friends but aren't actually!
And you know what, Just be what you are, be the one you are proud of being, be independent, be confident of being alone, because one day you'll be stranded-you'll have nowhere to go and that'll be the day You will be Your best friend- It might have happened in your life, It might still happen in your life- Learn to be alone, become good, no, great friends with yourself.

Profundity- I have lived almost 20 yrs of my life- had amazing friends, good friends, nice friends and even ones who i can say i was in a diplomatic friendship with, but I am still not confident enough to call anyone my ultimate BEST friend- I am not exactly complaining- I love my Life, and I live it happily. I Don't abide by the maxim of a best friend, I think that one has him/her eventually!!

ah well- it really is easy to speak shit isn't it!!!

~*~added 16 minutes later~*~
Coincidence: On Orkut
Today's fortune:
He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals

No you don't mean nothing at all to me!!!

*You either got it
Or you don't
You either stand or you fall*

-Say it right...Nelly Furtado

Loving this dese days, amazing beats!

Anyways the radio thingy is going okay these days, liked the studio - met lotsa ppl from lotsa colleges - some ver cool enough to have a chat with, some not so much!
going to college is fun and lame at once- fun coz its gud to get insider news n stuff n report n shit but lame cuz college mein "na banda na bande ki jaat"... Shaheeeeed bhagat singh
But still i'm liking it- N i dun care a shit that its in hindi!!! gimme a goddam break yaar!

know whats wierd- radio one keeps tuned in at home now (hv no clue why)-umm not tht its a bad station but never heard it so devotionally ever before (no hard feelings by the way)... The Rj was cool enough, what was the most elevating thing was I'd get to go to parties (you know free fun, free food, free dancing--- what the fuck FREE BOOZE MAN!!!-aherrmm m a gud gurl okay *fluttering eyes*) but will have to wait n see whether that was a saying or they really meant it.

I noticed one thing, does it reallly matter what college you are from- does it???
Does a Hindu Or a Stephen give you your Guts or does it give you a brand? Or does it remain oblivious to the fact that you spent 3 yrs in it n no one even cares.
I hate when people note the minute things in life and forget who they really are, who cares if you wear goddam cheapest of clothes but have a smart million dollar mind- i say no intelligence, when i say smart i mean smart, i mean dont-ya-mess-with-ME mind

Anyways here i hear furtado again 5th time in a row (that's the problem with me I hear a good song so much in one day that then it starts piercing my ears n i don't play it for long.)
.....
uh sorry its the 6th!

F.i.n.a.l.l.y.---

no complaints
no cribbing
and no more "nothing-to-do-blogs"

From finding and searching and questing for a summer job, i finally got one without an effort- imagine the irony!
i remember i once wrote i wish i was an RJ

GUESS WHAT!!!
I AM!!!!!!

....well almost..i just joined radio one 94.3 fm for the summer
I am going to be a campus RJ- now how cool is that!!!
It will take a lotta sweaty shit coz its a soaring sun out there n i'll have to interview the gonna-be-college-ppl, hoppin here n there, reportin n even being on air! (excited and nervous!)
but its gonna be worth it i guess!
(By the way Nidhi- if ur reading- thanks loads!!)

So m gonna attend a meeting tomorrow in CP...whoopies
gearing up fr it!!
so wht shud i wear tomo!!! (hehehe)

YOU KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE A LOT TO DO FOR THE TIME BEING WHEN:

1. You watch any cheezy movie on the tv, I watched mohra yesterday *eyes wide open now*.
2. You open your mailbox every 2 minutes waiting for a miracle that'll tell you how to keep yourself busy!
3. You have no one online in your messenger, and you add yourself to make it look better.*oh Gawd*
4. You sleep half the day out and still feel lazy when you have some work, accidentally!!
5. Your cell phone is dead, the only time it rings is when Hutch Uncle sends you a "win-a-scorpio" message- or when the Aunty calls you with a biggest HI.
6. You have memorized the schedule of all the TV channels.
7. You don't have anything better than write this on your blog.
8. You keep on writing bullshit to stretch it to atleast a TEN.
9. You Send your resume's to people for a summer job you know will never respond. (That exactly isn't lame but then...whatever)
10. You have a faded smile on your lips considering you have reached TEN.

*Doesn't get any better-i am listening to an Anu Malik Song*

No titles plz!

Remember the last time you felt the need to cry....
Try to rememba the reason to why you did and just have some analysis of it n figure out if it was really worth your tears!!

To why I am saying this is because I cried last night...reason?? well its too complicated...its nuthin related to me as in physically but mentally--hell yess!!!
And it won't really be worth mentioning and, well, not even appreciated on a public blog but just so that my frustration is thrown on my black keyboard I'm doing this.
All i can say is that sometimes handling an unnecessarily loaded pressure is just out of my head. I flip out- I behave like a psycho!
I guess most of us do.

Why can't you live life coolly, like as if theres no freakin thing that can make you ever think that it's not worth living. There are times when you need to be serious but .....cutttttttt it!!!

M not talkin bout it. Still I can't help but be a part of the whole testimony. (It affects my life a hell lot- can't explain....DAMN)

*---------------------------------------------------------*

Nice song playing - music is just beautiful, makes u enter another world (thats not the name of the song by the way)
Just watched coyote ugly (*guessin* 15th time)- i Luv this light hearted flick and the guy in it is hmmmm *smitten*...
All my frenz have bizarre news fr me.
Anuradha's Dad is gettin a prestigious award n dey r goin fr a holiday to Europe n US
Shradha's sis jus got engaged (happy happy)
Poor Upasana jus got a neck surgery done (man i was shocked to hear but now she's okay)- Take care shorty!!

I will finally visit Aditi at her place- man we've been so unfair. She lives in charmwood and me and Anuradha always yawned at the thought of visiting her so far off, but guess its too much now and on friday we both'll visit her.
The three of us had been always close in school but there were serious interruptions in our school life by sum paranoid ppl. Now we three realise hw cud we be their frenz! haha m bein too selfish- love it!. And all of a sudden after 10th grade we all ver in different schools but still hv been in touch and been the same frenz- telling u guys its hard to maintain friendship splly after you all hav diff ways to go ahead in life.

Anyways seems I've tortured my keyboard a lot now
adios!

THE WORLD IS WAITING...

Some may be atheists Some might still believe. Some may remain silent but still wait for a reply to their Unspoken Voices.

While we cling on the fact that what must be born must die, we manage to race up our lives and live the fullest. The fate of Everyman is indisputably the same and expected, we still want that one miracle to HAPPEN. We still want our prayers to be answered. We still want that SOMEONE to listen to us. We hear no answer but still wait because we assume that there exists that someone who made us. We know he'll forgive us if we are guilty, make us happy when we are sad and fill our hands when they are empty.

More than half of this world is waiting for that something to happen. Something that can make a change, something that makes them feel more comfortable in the uneasiness of their world, something that is meaningful, and something that churns out the fire in them.

Every change is accepted as a miracle if it comes when anticipated the most. Most of them wait for that miracle.

They wait...just wait...

Some wait for hope

Some wait for a reason to smile

Some wait for the clouds

And some for the rain to stop

Some wait for a prayer to be answered

Some wait for their voices to be heard

Some wait for the forever gone

And some for a family to return

Some wait for a wound to heal

Some wait for Love

Some wait for an answer

And some for proper education

The wait might never get over, they will go on waiting. Innumerable prayers, with just one question.

When do we find peace?

(One might not speak but his voice might still be heard)

-Compiled and written by

Priyanka Tandon